Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Sky is Falling.

Dear God,

Teach me how to be humble in everything I do and say.  Guide me away from this jealousy and anger I have built up inside of me.  I need to learn how to accept things.  Give me the hope and strength to move on and turn the other cheek.  Show me that everyone will not turn their backs on me and neglect me.  I need you now more than ever.  Thank you for being the loving and caring God I know you to be.

Love,
Me.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows.

If anyone knows how to achieve determination and dedication, let me know.
I'm in desperate need.

I have a 2.9 GPA. That's crap. I thought it was a lot higher. Freshman year killed me. I almost failed. I got tested for ADD after that year and then got put on adderall then my grades sky-rocketed. Great timing.

I hate being alone. It's the worst feeling in the world. I've been really needy lately.

Life is just disappointing right now.
:(

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Rat.

I feel completely out of the blog circle and it sucks. :(
There are too many people blogging now to catch up! And half of them I've never even spoken to before...


I'm so lazy, I need to get off the computer and finish cleaning my closet!
Darn computer.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Blood In Your Mouth.

I need to clean my room. It's disgusting and it's driving me insane.
I need to eat healthier.
I need to exercise. HA.
I need to lose weight. Lots.
I need to get over him.
I need to get another good cry out tonight. It's been too long.
I need to runaway.
I need to trust in God more.
I need to read more.
I need to quit procrastinating.
I need to start thinking seriously about college.
I need to get a freaking job.
I need to keep my mouth shut.



Laziness is getting the best of me. Completely.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Tomorrow I'll Be You.

I suck for not blogging in over a month. I'm sorry for not being around to talk to you guys and everything. A lot has been going on. . . .


My dad was in a plane crash in early December. It was actually a day like today, rainy and cold. He was flying the plane from Millington Airport to Charles Baker Airport, which isn't far at all. He lands at Millington more often because fuel is cheaper there. Well, he was taking off and at about 900 feet, the right engine went out. He radioed ATC and announced an emergency landing. They directed him to land on Highway 51, but he refused knowing he could still put people endanger even though police would secure the area. He turned around and just told ATC that he was going to land at Millington. He finally found the runway through all the fog. As he was landing, he slid off the runway hitting two very large fences, along with damaging the nose of the plane. The wings were to heavy to endure the crash so the left wing's fuel tank broke off spilling fuel everywhere. The right propeller actually jammed into the side of the plane into the seat right behind my dad's seat. The seat was tore to shreds. Thank God firemen were on the scene right away to put foam on the left engine that wouldn't shut off, otherwise everything would have caught on fire. It's a miracle that it didn't and it's a miracle that my father is alive. He's not doing so great, either. He was some cracked vertebrae and many pulled muscles. It actually be more than that because he hasn't gotten better even with physical therapy and everything.

On top of all of that, my mom was scheduled to have surgery (cosmetic) just a few days shortly after that. So my sister and I have been taking care of our two parents who have been lying in bed. My mom has recovered quite well, though.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do when my sister leaves. My dad has been in the WORST mood ever since the crash. He's constantly hurting. My mom is, too, at times. It's difficult, though. He always comes into the house and starts complaining at my sister and me because "we haven't done anything." I don't mind helping around the house, especially when my mom needs help, but he gives me ZERO credit. He never notices when I do something. Who put up all the Christmas decorations? ME with a little help from mom. Who had to take them down? ME and my sister. I still haven't taken the lights down outside. I don't care anymore! I'm to the point to where I'm just bitter as I can be.

Emotionally, I haven't been very stable lately. I'm not sure why.

I'm very sick of this place. I really need to get out of here.


Thank God I have my Nintendo DS.

Monday, November 10, 2008

My Own Worst Enemy.

I got called "the most immature person I(the person who said it) know" the other day. Why you ask? Because I said what I felt. Haha. Honestly, I don't know what's gotten into people. I'm sick of this drama rama! Sad part is, I lost a friend out of all this. I mean, it was slowly happening but, seriously? It's the stupidest thing ever. I'm really starting to see everyone's true colours. I'm also realizing who I can rely on. I know my jealousy gets the best of me sometimes, but I just feel neglected, ya know? Oh no, there goes my selfishness...

Can I please just leave Memphis?
When the heck is Jesus coming back?!
AGGGHH!
I'm sick of this life. I need a break.
That would be great right about now, thanks.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Another Bag of Bones.

I love fall. It's my favourite season. I also hate it because it always depresses me. October two years ago was the happiest time in my life. I just miss it a whole lot. I've tried to make the best of it, though. It's rough. I'm ready to move on but my heart won't let me. :(