Bandages.

A lot of thoughts have just been floating in my head and I need to get them out. They're most likely going to be very unorganized, sorry.

I need to be happy. I'm trying very hard, but failing miserably. He was the one thing that made the happiest I've ever been, but that's the past. Why can't I just smile and mean it? Why does true happiness come so seldomly? (for me atleast) Maybe I'm just blind. I know my life does not suck endlessly, but I wish some things were different, as does every other human being. I mean, I think I've accpeted the fact that I will never be completely over him, nor will I ever find someone who meant as much to me as he did. Am I stupid for asking the questions? I need closure; I never got it. It's like he just cut the chord and erased me from his life, and that was it. No explanation, nothing. That's not the way to end things. I feel useless and worthless now. Really, how do you expect me to be okay after that? I don't understand anything right now. Life is so full of unanswered questions and confusion. I hate it. I'm just asking for happiness. Pure happiness. That's it. Is that so much to ask for? :(

I feel a little better after getting that out.